Being the Gift (Samhain 6)

The world has trained us to think that winter (especially December) is about giving. We are all supposed to rush around giving things – preferably lots of things – to one another. There is nothing wrong with giving: the world can certainly use more generosity of heart, spirit, mind, time, love, and money. Moreover, there are plenty of folks among us who desperately need a few things like a warm coat, some clean socks, food in their bellies, a bed in which to sleep, and medications or vaccines. [We may want to look at our checkbook and be sure that it is that group of people on whom we are practicing most of our giving….most, as in 85 – 90%.]

Be that as it may, giving is something that we get a good bit of satisfaction from…provided, of course, that we are in control of it at all times. When we give, we are in control: of how much, to whom, when, what the restrictions will be, and when to stop. Giving (since we are in control) benefits us. It bestows a good hefty dose of self-affirmation. Or self-righteousness. Or self-justification.

But if we are paying attention to Samhain spirituality, we may remember that Samhain is not actually about giving; it is about receiving. It is about lying open, waiting, not in control of anything, just waiting. It is about being ready for something we hadn’t dreamed might happen to happen, something we never imagined to reveal itself. Last week I wrote about pondering the gift of who we are under all our roles and masks and disguises. The gift of who we are. And then pondering who we are being invited to become. Pondering the gift that is waiting for us to receive it, to give it soul room, to allow it to root in us and blossom from us.

As much as we may laud self-actualization (which is close to being a religion in the United States), our self is only actualized in community: in relationship with others who reflect our image back to us, who challenge our familiar ways of thinking, who surprise us with new possibilities, who offer healing (from inward pain, bad habits, despair) or forgiveness from things we believe are unforgivable, or love when we are at our least lovable. Actualization is almost totally a gift from others who interact with us and change us in the process. We sometimes need to give up control and receive what is being offered by those others, whether we think it will look good on us or not.

It’s like talking and listening. Talking is a fine thing – we need to be willing to share what we know for the common good. But at some point we need to stop and listen to what other people know for the common good. As surprising as I find it sometimes, I am not the center of the universe…and I suspect you aren’t either, if you think about it. A little humble listening is a skill well worth cultivating.

This week, I invite you to name the gifts you are being offered…and consider actually accepting them. Maybe you can write down one gift you have been given. One gift over which you have no control. One gift that isn’t about your giftedness, about your shopping or sewing or woodworking expertise, but is about the grace and beauty and generosity of someone else in your life. One gift that makes you think, “What is this for?” One gift that just may have the potential to transform your life entirely because it is so unexpected or has been so long in coming. One gift that you need to make room for: in your heart, in your mind, in your time, in your tastefully decorated living room.

Because Samhain is about teaching us how to receive, how to accept, graciously. Only then can we become what we are called to be so that we can give what we are called to give. What we are being shaped to give, that blessing for the world that no one else can possibly give because it is unique to us, arising from that amazing blend of our life experiences in just the proportion that we have processed them. The gift that requires all our vulnerability, all our humility, all our love and hope and simplicity.

Here is my prayer for this liminal moment in your life:

Listen. Ponder. Hope. Bless. Hope. Ponder. Listen.
Bless ears and mind and heart, open, waiting.
Bless silence, bless Spirit trembling on the strings of soul, bless body tuned to Holiness.
Bless questions; bless wondering, pondering, puzzling, imagining.
Bless offering, welcoming, blossoming, birthing.
Listen. Ponder. Hope. Bless. Hope. Ponder. Listen.

–Andrea

NOTE: The photo to the right is a detail from the Chakra panel which is available at my Etsy shop. This square represents the Root Chakra, the place of deep connection to the universe, the chakra through which all energy emerges. The Hands of Buddha photo is available as a card or print during Samhain – also through the Etsy shop.